In 1975, "Personals" would have been a topical, sassy show, withits skits and musical numbers about classified dating ads, videodating services, a "romantic advice" record album, group sex,one-night stands, homosexuality. . . .
In 1989, however, the production of "Personals" at the IllinoisTheatre Center in Park Forest is an anachronistic mishmash of tiredrelationship rituals and familiar dating cliches.
Steve S. Billig directs a loosely connected series of vignettesby writer-lyricists Marta Kauffman, David Crane and Seth Friedman,along with a half-dozen composers. The resulting show has all theimpact of a "Love American Style" rerun.
One of the problems with this would-be satire is that it wantsto make fun of personals ads, which are inherently weird in the firstplace. "Dignified gentleman seeks very hairy woman" isn't any moreoutrageous than some of the ads you see in the Chicago Sun-Times orthe Village Voice every week.
The opening number, "Nothing To Do With Love," is a catchy,bouncy sort of tune that is used as an interlude throughout the show.It also was oddly reminiscent of the opening theme for theWMAQ-Channel 5 news; I was half-expecting Ron Magers and Carol Marinto come out at any moment.
Actually, that would have been more entertaining than what didtranspire, although the Illinois Theatre Center cast can't be faultedfor lack of effort. When you're forced to sing something called "TheGuy I Love" while dancing with a man who for no apparent reason isdressed like Mr. Potato Head, you can't help but earn points fortrying.
In addition to the largely forgettable musical numbers, thereare three running gags. Two of them, about a man who lives accordingto the advice he gets from a romantic advice album and about aseries of women who videotape themselves for a dating service, aresimply not funny. The third, concerning a relationship among amarried couple and a transvestite dwarf, manages to be tasteless,devoid of laughs and boring all at once.
The one-liners in "Personals" are about as crackling as a bookof wet matches: A meddling mother says to her daughter, "You wantmagic, marry the Amazing Kreskin." Besides being unfunny, it's justplain wrong: Kreskin touts himself as a mind reader, not as amagician.
A few moments shine through the dreck, notably "Second Grade," alively, clever tune about grown men who yearn for the "good old daysof second grade," and "Imagine My Surprise," a sad and moving numbersung with strength and passion by Liz Donathan. George Badeker andDonathan manage to strike a realistic note as next-door neighbors whoare thrilled by the prospect of a new romance, but terrified by thealmost inevitable pain the relationship will cause.
For one viewer, however, the high point came when the lightswent up and the show ended.
"Personals" will continue through April 30 at the IllinoisTheatre Center, 400-A Lakewood Blvd., Park Forest (481-3510).
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